What happens in happytown
by KrowMuj
Summary: Short stories about life in happytown, as told by Finnick and Duke Weaselton.
1. Nick gets even

Lemme tell you something: Nick Wilde hates his father. I mean _hates_ him. Nick wants his old man to die. We don't ever talk about John Wilde and we never ask what he did to Nick. When he told me he was going bowling with his dad I almost pissed myself!

See, old John Wilde had this bowling tournament he's been in every year since Nick was a kid. Now that he's sick and dying, this year's his only chance to win this tournament and get some stupid trophy he's been trying to win for ages. I figured Nick still loved his dad somewhere inside and I had to see this shit so I rented a table two lanes away from John and his team.

Nick didn't show up. Eventually they started the game without him. Me and Hopps sat at my table with a couple mean mammals o' mine watchin the game. She found out Nick was gonna help his dad win before he died and she wanted to see it. Duke was here too, only cause Hopps was here. "I like the kind of woman that can kick my ass!" he says. F'real though he's got it _bad_ for this bunny. That's a whole other story though.

Nick finally shows up piss-drunk, ready to play. John just laughs and figures his boy was just out having a good time and was runnin' late but me and Duke both knew better. I told Hopps to go outside. Duke told her to go because she was not ready to see what was about to happen. He almost begged. Of course she won't listen cause Nick's her friend and she wants to be here for him. Her choice.

John gives Nick the last turn. They're so close to winning and I can see just how happy John is, bowling with his son, laughing with his friends. I knew some shit was about to go down though.

Boy did it.

Nick threw the game. I know damn well he meant to do it cause Nick can fuckin bowl. His dad lost. Drunk-ass Nick stumbles up to his dad and gets right in his face, muzzle to muzzle. He stares John right in the eyes and he says:

"No dad. Fuck _your_ dreams."

He didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. Just walked away, left his dad behind. John was hurt, man. Never seen that much pain in a mammal's eyes. Duke was frozen in place, starin' dead eyes at John, who's on the floor crying. Judy was speechless. She has never seen him like this but lemme tell you that Nick can be the meanest motherfucker you _ever_ met. She was gettin ready to cry, poor bunny didn't know what to think.

We watched Nick leave without a word.

I'm tell you again, man: Nick Wilde _hates_ his father.


	2. Cottontail

Alright so it's like four thirty in the mornin' and I'm hangin out on Finn's couch. Me and him are fried out of our damn minds, watchin' poor tired Nick stumble around the apartment in his underpants. Him and cottontail are supposed ta go joggin' this morning and Nick usually ain't up before two so needless to say he was not having it.

He looked like a zombie, and he had this horrible dead look in his eyes that just screamed 'please end my suffering'. The doorbell rang and it took Finn all of two seconds ta run across the apartment and let Judy in. "Heeeey Duke look who's here!" he shouts. "Nick's not ready yet."

Finn brings her inside just as Nick spills his second cup of coffee on the floor. From the couch you could barely hear him ask himself: "Why has god abandoned me?"

Soon as Judy's inside her nose starts goin' and it's kinda cute. Don't you fuckin' tell her I said that.

"Are you guys smoking weed?"

Well no fuckin shit, the whole place reeks. Finn just shoots her this shit eating grin and says "No officer, I'm a good, religious boy who says his prayers and I have never smoked in my life." as he's takin' another hit.

She rolls her eyes and looks back at Nick who doesn't even realize Judy's here. "Finn where's my tie?" he asks, he starts pullin' his shorts off to look for a clean pair. Finn's place is pretty wrecked, so he don't have to look far for another pair of boxers.

"You're wearin' it, doofus." Finn says. Nick groaned and shuffled off to his room to get dressed.

He keeps Judy waiting for a while as he's getting dressed. That's fine with me though, more time with Hopps. Ever since that bunny tried to have me killed, I can't get her out of my head! I really like the kind of woman that can kick my ass. Finn won't leave me alone about it either. Little bastard keeps makin' kiss faces behind her back and it's really pissin' me off.

Once Nick gets back Judy practically pulls him out the door. The last thing I see is this pleading look in his eyes as his coffee gets further and further outta reach. The door's not even shut before Finn starts laughin'.

"You got it bad for bunnycop!" he shouts, still laughin' his ass off. "You got yourself a situation Duke!"

Takes me a second to look down at my pants and realize what he's talking about. I start fixin' my pants and Finn keeps fuckin' going.

"Damn dude that bad? It's that fuzzy tail innit?"

...I mean sure, I was lookin.

"Take care of that and get some sleep. We got work tonight."

He's right though. Me and Finn got ourselves back into Mr. Big's good graces, so he has us do some if his dirty work here in happytown. We take another hit and I'm ready to crash.

"Sweet dreams, Duke. Keep em dry though!"

"Fuck you Finn."


End file.
